Strength to Love

My brother, My trayvon. So thankful for the moments we have shared and the opportunities in life we have been blessed/lucky to enjoy. 

Like so many, I have been doing quite a bit of thinking today. The life of an innocent young man holding a bag of skittles has left me contemplating and asking deeper questions. Moments like these leave many of us feeling bitter, distant and reassuring the already deep emotions that we have about the country we live in. I will admit that after this year of being an intern... my emotions are even harder to stir and I find myself searching for them in pivotal moments like yesterday. When I have trouble finding my emotions or coping I turn to my forefathers.

Today I turned to Martin Luther King Jr. Yes I know.. he was not a perfect man but he was a wise one. And I believe he was gifted with helping the black community channel anger and bitterness into action and love. And today... before I go to work tomorrow to face another day as a black female american physician I needed to regain my strength to love. Today I read  MLK's speech Love in Action which was written while MLK was in a Georgia jail. 

"The potential beauty of human life is constantly made ugly by man's ever recurring song of retaliation." Basically the lesson from the first part of the sermon is that when Jesus was crucified, his most desperate time of despair he asked his father to forgive them for they no not what they do. As MLK said, " He chose to aggressively Love."  Forgiveness... that's deep right. I can't even forgive the nurse who had an attitude with me last week.. 

I guess.. I could go to work angry, look at all my white friends like they are out to get me.. be more distant at work tomorrow as I deal with my own anger over where history has left this country. It still wouldn't bring Trayvon back or change the fact that I worry about my brother's life on a daily basis. I guess that is why my heart is even more deeply saddened..... I know that one man going to prison will not help the children out here struggling to rise above their circumstance, it won't change that Trayvon's mother will never enjoy his laugh or the fact that sooo many black men already think that America has no desire to improve their life or circumstance. Am I jaded from my job? Am I carrying the burdens of black America on my heart too deeply? When I'm at work and I see the 45 yr old homeless man with HIV who has 8 kids somewhere in the community... is it too deep that my heart aches for those essentially fatherless children just as bad as it does for trayvon. And this is everyday...  

I say all this to say... I hope we find the strength to love. To continue to love. To forgive. I will continue to hope that one day our men will feel valued in their own community and the community of others. I will be hopeful that one day America will really decide to invest in our young men. Until then.. I will invest. My energy, My love, my hopefulness. 

Today I'm going to choose love. Or at least try my best :) 

"How often are our lives characterized by a high blood pressure of creeds and an anemia of deeds!" MLK

Luke 23:34
Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." And they divided His garments and cast lots." 

** All quotes are from the book Strength to Love by Martin Luther King Jr. The sermon I read today is titled Love in Action.