Sometimes this job will really knock you down.
Just when you think you know a little something and get a little hint of confidence. Reality comes in and you realize just how fragile life is.
Today as I walked home at 9pm with a dead iphone in hand...recapping my day.. unable to get a cab because it just rained... feet swollen...
....thoughts were weighing heavy on my mind ...
I started to think ...
Today was one of those days that will forever change me..
This is why doctors are so serious...
This is why I often cannot sleep at night..
Is my demeanor at work serious enough...
Do I pay attention to all the details...
Does the structure of the system allow for me to be the best doctor I can be...
When will I reach a sense of comfort and true confidence...
Do my peers respect me...
Am I learning the lessons that I need to learn.....
At the end of a day like today I am reminded of how serious my job is... In the midst of all the calls about discharge orders, constipation, pain meds and patient's threatening to leave the hospital there are a few decisions.....every now and again that really impact a life, a family, a future. Today I wanted to pray with my patient and I didn't and now I wish I had. Ultimately whose hands is he really in?
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