Sunday, June 19, 2011

well this aint grey's anatomy.. i can tell ya that.

Life at 25 has been very eye opening for me so far. Apart of this year has been all about experiencing life as a 3rd year medical student. Which in recent moments has been very dissapointing. When you grow up thinking of your future profession... hopefully the thoughts are positive. Full of excitement, passionate people, adventures and fulfillment.

To my suprise medicine has not been the rosy picture that I painted for myself. I have encountered folks with no patience, angry people, rude people, tired people, and judgmental people. Where do I fit into this world is what I often wonder??  Can I remain compassionate and not speak the hospital language called rude? And unfortunately these characteristics that seem to be often needed to survive in the hospital begin to spill into other areas of your life. I was so irritated the other day when my tea at starbucks took longer than 30 seconds. I get snippy with people without even realizing it. Oh and the hiearchy... Will I forget all these emotions once I am no longer on the bottom?? Which people feel the need to remind me more often then is neccesary. :0

Hopefully not. As I end this final week of 3rd year.. I am reflecting on all the things that made my year both wonderful and frustrating. Who were the greatest teachers and who were those who I could have done without. What made those great doctors great.. and the bad ones suck. Who inspired me to learn and be great? Who inspired me to run to my car as fast as possible once I was set free for the day?

This post is as much for me as it is my future med students and residents. BRIANA remember all the days you came home frustrated because a resident belittled you, made you feel stupid or did not treat you like an adult. Remember those residents who had conversations with you, got to know you as a person, encouraged you to give your patient the greatest care possible, offered what knowledge they had acquired so far and did not put on false aires about what knowledge they did have. Remember those attendings who welcomed the med student to the team, treated every one on the team fairly, checked the residents when they were out of line, and was interested in everyone's learning. Because yep! Residents are still learning too. Oh! And don't forget the insecure residents that lashed out at the med student to make themselves feel better. The confident and eager to learn residents were always refreshing and pleasant. Respecting that even if they didn't "like" you.. a hard worker can respect another hard worker at the end of the day.

And lastly remember the patients. Because they are why we joined this profession right? To serve, provide care with honesty and integrity. Care with both confidence and a humble spirit.

I know even more now then I did before there is a place for me. Compassionate docs that care are still out there. They exist. I see them. Not enough.. but i see them.

And at the end of the day... We are all living in the midst of the vanity of life. All these challenges have been seen before and will be seen again.

Ecclesiastes 1:9-10
That which has been is what will be,
That which is done is what will be done,
And there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which it may be said,
"See this is new?"
It has already been in ancient times before us.

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