Shades of love

You look exotic.

You should date a white guy and oh my goodness you all would have the prettiest children. 

Do you prefer black men or will you date anybody?

These are a few of many comments that have prompted this quick discussion on race and love. What is your preferred shade of love? If you have a preferred shade.. are you doing yourself and others an injustice? 

As you all know I am spending a little time alone in Chicago away from the southern streets of North Carolina. In many ways this trip has been refreshing.. Walking and exploring on my own. I have also been refreshed surprisingly by how many interracial couples that I see walking the streets. Before I drift lets start with my first response to what I say when people ask me do I date white men. Which is a problem in itself because there are so many different groups of people.. anywho. 

Response #1: They must not find me attractive. No one other then a brotha has ever asked me for my number. 

This unfortunately is usually my first response. Although this statement is true. I have never been asked on a date or felt pursued by anyone outside of my socially constructed race.. I must wonder how much of this is a result of my own actions. When I go into starbucks to study I immediately assume there are no prospects once I do not see anyone that looks like my dreamy version of my future dr. huxtable husband. hmmm. It could be when the "other" guy at the coffee shop started conversation he was being a little more then friendly and I did not even realize it! It could be that while jogging if I gave every handsome young man the eye contact stare I provide for the less appeasing men at the club.. I might have a few more occupied Friday Nights. ;-)

This thought was also confirmed by an interesting article in the September issue of essence. A good read! This myth that "other" men aren't attracted to black women.. the author finds hard to believe and argues that we should too. And this thought should apply to all women not just black women. SO NO I'm not too exotic. whatever that means.. 

Response #2: I'm trying to be like the Obamas. You feel me. Looking for my Barack! 

Well I'm sure even Barack dated "other" women. And I am quite sure that as highly educated as Michelle Obama is she could have EASILY ended up with someone of a different shade. I know others might hate to hear this. Seriously.. no one wants to be like the Huxtables more then me.. But I'm just sayin. These days it appears that education and common interests might make for a marriage that lasts more than the color of your skin. 

Response #3: I think I'm a little loud and opinionated for a white guy. 

I do feel self conscious of my southern ways and often wonder if it would be too much for another guy that's not black. Again. Let me stop myself immediately. Vibrant people with opinions exist in all shades and colors. My "loud" negro tendencies might be surprisingly just what that man of another race is looking for. Learning the electric slide and the wobble might be the highlight of his life. Oh and my drive/ambition. Might just give him life as folks say on twitter. lol. 

LONG STORY SHORT.... What really defines love. Is it based on skin color. Now I did not address men that have preferences and do not date a certain woman. Another topic for another day. Just bringing up the idea.. the basic notion.. That next time someone other then a black man, or white man or asian man or a man other then the group you identify yourself with... open up or hold his glance for a second longer. You never know what might happen. You might be the first interracial couple in the white house! And  we'll forget we ever wanted to be the Obama's. :-) 

STAY FLY CUTE CONFIDENT... AND FOREVER 25

;-)