Quick Post

I just want to say how excited I am..

My bestie Amanda graduates in 2 weeks. You might remember her from some past posts :0 http://theyearofthe25.blogspot.com/2011/11/photo-shoot-fresh-homecoming-part-2.html
Let me break it down.. 8 years ago.. We were sitting in Davis library wondering if this was possible. 3 little out of state chocolate girls who all wanted to be doctors. And hence the Davis Crew was formed. We skipped parties together, went to office hours together, cried over science tests together. Shalonda was first. PharmDondeck. Now she is on that antigua, acura, and has someone she is "thankfulfor" lifestyle ;) Next was myself. Not quite in antigue yet... but non the less. I do what i can ;) Last but not least is Amanda. aka Methyl, I invented swag Stephens. Always focused. Eye on the prize. Ride or die. But never too good for a good time.
Yep. Its time. DDS on deck. My crew bad. Yes. no verb. We bad. ;)

The Davis Crew

It's crazy to think one year ago we came to together for my graduation. :0 Those were gooood times.

SOOO whats new in Philly.

The weather is absolutely beautiful. Thank goodness for that or I would really be struggling.
I'm still over being an intern... or a glorified secretary as I call it.
I can't wait to visit NC in two weeks.
Still focusing on myself and not trippin over these negroes out here.
Also looking for a classy ratchet theme song for my weekend in chapel thrill with my girls. Yes. Classy ratchet.

Shout out to my little brother. Yo, you need to come back from paris soon. I miss you.

1 year ago when we were both graduating. Buckner class of 2012 , MD and Morehouse Man on deck :)

My classy ratchet selection of the day. Not for everyone... But I do enjoy Kid Cudi. One of my faves.

Another Day Another Dollar

Another long day on the intern struggle bus. 14 hours... and some change..

Today I actually thought.. If I had shadowed an intern physician as a high school student.. I really may have considered other options.

Despite the hours of mundane non direct patient care that fills my day.. There are a few bright moments.

My patient today told me my hair was sexy. As inappropriate as it was.. it made me laugh. Hey.. I'll take what I can get :) #rough out here

The most frustrating thing about the current intern system is how much of my day is sucked up by indirect patient care.... 45 minutes to complete someone's discharge paperwork. Multiply that by 5 patients.. that's an entire day. And then my patient's wonder why they haven't seen their doctor since 7am :(   ... i know.. I'm wondering too.

I am very concerned about the way the medical system is going.. Most of a doctor's day will continue to be mostly documentation. I see a patient for 5 minutes...and I spend 15 minutes documenting it... and then ten minutes finding the chart to put the paper in...

Thank goodness for random laughs throughout the day... One patient told me she likes every other ethnic group except one particular group..... this should not be funny... but what can you do.
Quote of the day:   "I'm not racist though!... I promise.. "  umm humm...

And it never gets old when I can sit with my black patients.. get comfy and casual.. have a heart to heart... tell it like it is.. use a little slang.. keep it real.... let them tell me how i look 17... and see them trust me. Many of them will never have a black doctor again and it is monumental for us both.


SOOOOO despite the struggle.... I am reminding myself... there is a reason why I am putting up with this life or lack there of... . I think...


Shout out to Emerson for hanging out with me this Saturday!! I was a little down from being so tired and he brightened up my day and weekend :) Love ya hun!!

This is how much my phone rang today at work........

 

 

 

SONG OF THE DAY

SpringTime In Philly

Sunday Check In. What Up What Up. 

Well Folks It's Officially Spring Time In Philly. 

Everyone is out. The Schuylkill River is as scandalous as ever..make out sessions, pot smoking kids, unfortunate spring running outfits.  I'm still severely overworked but so so happy it's spring. The cute kids on tricycles and playing in the flowers always make things brighter. 

What's on my mind this week ?!? 

margarita time :)

It was definitely a tough week. I'm happy I made it through. Saturday I was extremely giddy at work that I had Sunday off. There was not a thing that could bother me. Oh Mr. S wants to leave against medical advice.... fine.

Of course my girl Janelle was down for a late night hang out session on Saturday. What were the topics of discussion?!?! The usual. Which patient acted a fool this week. Another week of dating shenanigans. Why people post every single aspect of their life on social media. "I ate a carrot today and bought a pack of gum and i ran 10 times this week!!" Yeah.. we're probably bitter cause we are always at work.. But still. :)

And the really pertinent topic this week. The really horrible text message conversations... that amount to NOTHING. 

Is it just me?? Quote of the night.. "Brotha. Don't blow up my phone with nothingness. I'm busy. "

Real Life Example. Some folks could not be put on blast quite yet. stay tuned....

Why....

 And of course at the bar we were asked the same o same o questions by some 30 something brothas. Would you ladies date down? Whatever that means...    After I kindly told these gentlemen that the men that work transport and in the cafeteria at work are often the boldest brothers and most direct...  they still went and fumbled the "let me get your number process."

So this dude hands me a business card. I say.. oh ok.. Is this your cell number on here? He says no.. I say ok is your email on here? He says no... I say...  hmm ok.. I'm already done. I then say sooo is this your work number???? (Really !?) He's not even from philly and appears to be confused by my questions.  This brother says.. yeah that's my work number. 

Is that what we do now?? Call men at work. No. 

And another brother fumbles...   

Ohphillydating.... 

Another week another dollar. 

Peaceful moment. Reading on my phone.

Decided to read about cirrhosis on the museum steps :) yes. I still read.  MDhustleisreal

The flowers are blooming. Kids are out. Couples are holding hands. #springtime

#foodandliquour. It was that kinda week...

SONG OF THE DAY

Have a great week folks.  :)

That which has been is what will be.

That which is done is what will be done,

And there is nothing new under the sun. 

Is there anything of which it may be said,

"See this is new?"

It has already been in ancient times before us. 

Ecclesiastes 1: 9-10

Hardest Day Ever

Sometimes this job will really knock you down.

Just when you think you know a little something and get a little hint of confidence. Reality comes in and you realize just how fragile life is.

Today as I walked home at 9pm with a dead iphone in hand...recapping my day.. unable to get a cab because it just rained...  feet swollen...
 ....thoughts were weighing heavy on my mind ...

I started to think ...

Today was one of those days that will forever change me..
This is why doctors are so serious...
This is why I often cannot sleep at night..
Is my demeanor at work serious enough...
Do I pay attention to all the details...
Does the structure of the system allow for me to be the best doctor I can be...
When will I reach a sense of comfort and true confidence...
Do my peers respect me...
Am I learning the lessons that I need to learn.....


At the end of a day like today I am reminded of how serious my job is... In the midst of all the calls about discharge orders, constipation, pain meds and patient's threatening to leave the hospital there are a few decisions.....every now and again that really impact a life, a family, a future. Today I wanted to pray with my patient and I didn't and now I wish I had. Ultimately whose hands is he really in?

with the homies

The med school crew

It's no secret. I love my friends. Kickin it wit the homies. That's what I do ;) When these dudes are out here playing games with a text message.... You can always count on the crew to really be down for a good time.

What's the latest with the homies. 

Same o same o. Reminding each other how proud of each other we are.  Realizing that a true friend is a blessing that everyone is not so lucky to enjoy. Still wondering what's wrong with these Negroes out here. Telling the homies about the latest dating shenanigan that occurred  Yeah we do that :)   

Snma conference 2013

Shake shack!! I've been craving this for weeks!! 

about to kill this shake shack

thank goodness for Good friends! Treca!! 

Long week. #dontjudgeme

Shout out to all my good friends. Love you all. You all keep me grounded. Encourage me when I'm tired. Remind me that being single and chubby is not the business. Laugh over cocktails. Shop till we drop. Give it to me straight with no chaser. Love, Integrity, Purpose. That's what true friends are made of. 

Song of the Day

Swirling Inner Thoughts

What's on my mind this week...

What a week. I'm not sure where my day off went. It's time to hear about new patients and give report on olds. Another week down another to go.

Life is once again moving fast but the thoughts of a young 26 year old woman still swirl around in my head.

Today I went to church and I thought about.. What if I were having a conversation with God.. about this very moment in my life. I imagine it would go a little something like this....




God I'm kinda tired. Life is moving soo fast. I hope you've noticed I've been a little nicer at work. Less attitude.. more patience and thank you's.

Yes Briana I am proud of you for being patient. I am with you in every moment. Remember how we talked about loving thy neighbor. Keep that at the core of your spirit.  But I sense your spirit feels heavy.

I carry the weight and emotions of many of my patients home with me or my heart is hard and I don't feel anything at all or I'm angry that I carry their emotions and no one carries my own. And then when I look around to share these thoughts I have no companionship.

Child, I'm here. Share your thoughts with me. Come closer. I will carry your burdens. You are worthy of my love. The things you hope for are all possible through me. Patience is not just moment to moment patience.. but day to day.. year to year...

I hope to make you proud.

I am your father in your darkest, worst and best moments. Never leaving you.

Alright. cool. Cause I know I've had a few ratchet moments recently. But I'm trying to move from ratchet to righteous. lol. Seriously though. step by step. thank you Lord for loving me despite of myself.

Reflections of an April Intern

Reflections of an April Intern .... 

What a day....

I still wonder if I truly knew what I was getting myself into. I don't think I did... I was going for more of the Bill Cosby in my office lifestyle instead of the House of God.. you're a scrub until you make it lifestyle. This job continues to stretch and push me in ways I could never imagine.

Today...
I caught the bus at 6:21 am..
I told a family member their loved one was dying by 8:30 am.
Realized that I am no longer phased by platelet counts in single digits by 9 am.
I answered at least 50 phone calls by noon.
My work phone died by 1pm.
1:40pm a consultant basically stopped me mid consult (i.e. recognized the silly nature of the consult)
and never called me back.
My favorite and sweetest patient crashed by 1:45pm..
An anesthesiologist looked at me crazy by 2:15pm and asked "who is making the decisions here"
I realized by 3pm even when I think I know who is making the decision... I really don't.
By 5pm I realized that many of my families believe that their family member will be healed and a miracle will be performed... and that the MD in me still has a hard time rationalizing this despite my faith. And I often want to tell them that God's healing is greater and bigger than any of my moment to moment decisions...
By 5:45 pm I realized once again I was not going to make it to the dry cleaners to pick up my coat..
6pm.. I huslted through the lobby while a very portly man was being held down by 5 security men.. I felt a rapid response coming. And literally ran in my heels in front of the bus to catch it. I play no games with that septa.
6:45pm Decided to get a run in.. despite being at work 11 hours... cause being single and plump is not the business. yeah.. my priorities need work :0


And at the end of all this... I ask myself so many questions... Can I continue to stay compassionate and sensitive?  When will I feel comfortable with these life and death situations. Sometimes I wonder if the decisions I make really make a difference...  Overall I have soooo much to learn. After this one year of fast paced day to day decision making will I have the experience and knowledge that I need to lead another lost and confused intern through the chaos of medicine??



The organized chaos of medicine....... the saga continues..